Remembering Henry Farber

By Mark Rockoff and Bobbie Kirkhart

After more than a year of searching, we have learned that long-time member and supporter of Atheists United, Henry Farber, died Oct 26, 2019. A short time before, he was transferred to a new rest home, and neither Atheists United nor his close friend Mark Rockoff was able to find his whereabouts.

Henry’s life spanned periods of extreme happiness and of absolute misery. From the age of one, Henry lived in Poland with his grandparents. He adored his grandmother, and despite his disdain for this grandfather’s strict orthodoxy, he was happy there. In the late 1930s, when Henry was almost ten, his mother, foreseeing the horror that was to come, took him to the relative safety of Belgium. One can barely imagine the pain of his childhood, hiding his Jewishness, mourning for his lost grandparents, and through it all, under the thumb of his strict mother, who was verbally abusive. Deception was hard for Henry, but it was forced on him constantly, as he was hidden in Catholic school. There was no better disguise, nor was there a more painful role to play. After the war, Henry hoped to go to public school, but his mother insisted he stay in Catholic school. After school, his uncle taught him the trade of tailoring, which remained his profession for life.

In the early 1950s, Henry came to the United States where his life was transformed. Henry loved to dance, and it was at a dance where met the love of his life, Marguerite. Her childhood was not much better than Henry’s. Her mother abandoned her to the care of her alcoholic father, after which her stepmother put her in a Catholic orphanage. She suffered from polio, which left her with a limp for the rest of her life. Finally, both Henry and Margie had found happiness. They thoroughly adored each other. They enjoyed 45 years of happy marriage before Margie’s death.

Henry and Margie had one son, Bernie. Bernie is autistic, which did not lessen their pride in him nor their love for him. They got him in the best facilities at the time, and Bernie now lives a contented and productive life.

Outside of his family and Atheists United, Henry’s next love was ping pong. He played for hours and was highly skilled within his age group.

Henry and Margie joined Atheists United in the early 1990s and worked for the organization for the rest of their lives. They instigated tabling at the Venice Beach boardwalk, they let Atheists United use their garage for much-needed storage space, and they both served on the board for many years.

Both were well liked throughout the organization. We were privileged to have known them.